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For the Couples Who Are Willing: Reflective, Growth-Oriented, and Ready to Reconnect
- Jessicah Walker Herche, PhD, HSPP
- Aug 18
- 3 min read
There’s a certain kind of couple we love working with.
Not perfect. Not always on the same page. Not conflict-free.
But willing.
Willing to reflect on their part. Willing to slow down and be honest. Willing to get a little uncomfortable in the name of growth — because they care about each other, and they care about the relationship.
These are the couples we see thrive in therapy.
Because here’s the truth: Change in a relationship doesn’t come from proving who’s right. It comes from both partners being willing to get curious about themselves and the patterns they’re co-creating — even the ones they never meant to build.
(If perfectionism plays a role in your relationship dynamic, you might resonate with this piece on how high standards, shame, or self-protection can quietly erode connection. Read more →)
You’re not in crisis, but something feels off.
Maybe you’re emotionally intelligent people who have done some individual work, but the relationship feels stuck.
You’re not fighting constantly, but you’re not really connecting, either.
You avoid hard conversations. Or when you try, things escalate quickly.
One of you feels alone in your pain. The other feels like they can never get it right.
You both love each other… but sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough.
So you go through the motions. Life is full — careers, kids, responsibilities — but the emotional space between you keeps widening.
This is often the moment when couples find their way to therapy. And it’s a powerful one. Because underneath the distance is still care. Still love. Still a desire to get back to each other.
What we look for isn’t perfection. It’s ownership.
The couples we work best with aren’t afraid to look inward. They’re willing to ask hard questions:
What role do I play in our patterns?
What am I afraid of when we get close?
What am I holding back, and why?
There may be resentment, misunderstandings, or years of unmet needs — but there’s also a desire to do the work. Not to change each other, but to grow together.
This kind of willingness is everything in couples therapy.
Our work together isn’t about blame — it’s about repair.
We don’t expect couples to get it right every time—what matters is how you come back to each other. Here’s why repair matters more than perfection. →
We don’t take sides. We don’t keep score. And we don’t expect you to have it all figured out.
Instead, we guide you toward new ways of seeing yourselves and each other. We help you identify what’s beneath the surface — the attachment wounds, the stressors, the unspoken fears — so that you can show up more honestly, more vulnerably, and more generously.
For many couples, emotional and physical vulnerability are intertwined—and understanding this tension can shift the way you approach intimacy. Here’s what it costs each partner, and why it matters. →
We use evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), EMDR for couples, the Gottman Method, and tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help you feel safer and more connected, even when things are hard.
What makes the difference isn’t the tools — it’s the heart behind them.
You don’t need to be in the middle of a dramatic breakdown to benefit from therapy.
You just need to be two people who are still fighting for the relationship, even if you’ve lost your way a bit.
We work best with couples who:
Are emotionally attuned or open to becoming more self-aware
Value personal growth and are willing to take responsibility
Want to shift long-standing patterns with curiosity, not just criticism
Are navigating transitions like new parenthood, career shifts, or identity changes
Still care deeply — even if they’re not sure how to show it
If that sounds like you, we want you to know: you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out by yourselves.
The truth is, every relationship hits rough patches.
Disconnection is normal. Conflict is inevitable. But if you’re both still willing to show up — even imperfectly — there’s hope.
Therapy isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about finding your way back to each other.
So if you’re ready to reflect, grow, and take ownership — we’re ready to walk with you.
If you and your partner are ready to reconnect, we’d love to support you. Learn more about our couples therapy approach in Fishers, IN & Carmel, IN or reach out to schedule a free consultation with one of our skilled clinicians.
Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional psychological care, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
